Misplaced Sorcery
by Matuelle
Summary: In the modern day and age of Hyrule, where cellphones and the such exist, what happens when Vaati accidentally summons his past self from an alternate dimension to his own time? VaaVent, Mpreg, ocs. Based from an rp.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: please don't be mad. xD things happen from the start, and the story takes place in "modern Hyrule." so that means Ventri is Vaati from the looooong-time-ago past. xD based off an rp, so its random. but its also finished... |D**

It had been some time, but a still very confused Ventri wandered the halls of his new house. His future self, the self proclaimed Lord Vaati, had attempted a spell to warp himself somewhere to the past. This only succeeded in calling his past self, from an entirely different time and dimension -Ventri, as he nicknamed himself- to the more "modern" Hyrule. He lived in a two story house, and it was filled with appliances that still confused more recent wind mage. It had been a few years since his time of attempted rule, and an even longer time for his future self.

Not to mention the latter had taken a strong liking to his past self.

And it was much more than narcissism, an amount that was sure not to go unnoticed.

But it wasn't enough to not leave his younger version back at the house by himself, surrounded by things he didn't understand.

Ventri sighed and sat on the bed, pulling the blanket around his shoulders more. Yes, he could deal with the past and the fights he had to put up with during his time of trying to find the light force. But what he couldn't deal with was the fact that some crazed person attempted to break in through the bedroom window. It didn't help that the window had broken from him tossing the intruder out, and it was below freezing outside.

Nor was it helping he was still in his pajamas.

He'd been attempting to sleep for the past two hours after the other left, but it was all in vain. The cold had slowly crept up on him, and he let a violent shiver wrack his body. Deciding that the idea of sleeping in a room with a broken window and a potential intruder again was not the best.

Instead, he bundled up in the bedcover more and headed into the main room, where he promptly passed out even before he made it to the couch.

Not ten minutes later, a frustrated and frizzled Vaati rushed in from the cold, panting. "Goddesses!" he exclaimed breathlessly. "Those fangirls are like ravenous beasts!" He paused and looked around. No one appeared to be home, and he knew the other would have been up by then.

After a few moments, he warped himself to the bookshelves on the side of the room. He let out a heavy sigh. "There must be _something_ in here I haven't read yet..." He sifted through the books somewhat noisily, and Ventri didn't stir.

"...What's this?" Vaati muttered to himself and pulled a book out from the back of the shelf. Pushing his glasses up onto his nose better, he flipped through the pages. "The guide of... What in Din's name is this language...?" He squinted at it, just barely able to make out the words. Deciding to attempt to read it, he made his way to the couch with his nose in the bindings of the book. He fell backwards into the couch, not at all noticing the other.

Ventri woke up, having both felt and heard the couch. He sat up sleepily, and saw the other was home. He muttered a quiet greeting but it went unheard. Realizing this, he stood to get a cup of coffee from the kitchen.

"It's not Hylian..."

His ears perked up, catching the quiet mutter. His eyes went to the other's back, and he noticed how he was hunched over a book.

Vaati, becoming more frustrated with not being able to understand the book, started to mumble to himself. "No... its not this... maybe its this language? Possibly..." For a moment he was too quiet for Ventri's sensitive ears to hear. Then, "Ugh, this can't even be real... Rituals, really?" He let out a sarcastic laugh. "I suppose it might be worth a read."

Giving up on the one thing that might keep him awake, Ventri quietly made his way over to read the book over his clone's shoulder. Immediately, he gave up, not being one for reading at the time.

"B-blood summoning?" Again another laugh. "You've got to be kidding me... Its just a bunch of Voodoo and curses. Its false magic."

A sense of dread went to Ventri's core. _This will not turn out well... I have a feeling..._ he thought to himself. He slowly started to back away towards the door again.

"No way!"

Ventri cringed and stopped at the door, yet again his curiosity taking over.

"**_Arkh pent ous fan cisma no turn faal_**." Vaati called mockingly, then bust up laughing again. "Like anyone woul dhave to say a spell _out loud_?"

Ventri sighed and walked over again, but this time leaned over on the side of the couch. "What the hell is that you're reading?" He asked.

Vaati flailed a bit, almost dropping the book. "Gah! Vents, what in the..."

The other backed away a little, holding his hands up. "Sorry." He muttered, feeling bad for scaring the other.

"I didn't know you were in here." Vaati said with a pout."I s'pose you've heard me ranting about this piece of crap then, eh? Look at this - Rubbish! All of it!" He held up the book.

"I pulled an all nighter until about twelve minutes ago." Ventri admitted, then stiffled a yawn, not caring in the slightest about the book at the moment.

"Oh... sorry to wake you." Vaati muttered, lowering the book hesitantly.

"Its fine. Probably would have woken up either way." Ventri said, then went back to leaning on the couch. He looked over the spells a little, then quietly asked, "Does it even tell you what kind of spells they are?"

The pages were turned to the back of the book. "Well I can read it. I speak a lot of different languages." Vaati passed with a shrug. Ventri's response was to just rub his eyes and stiffle another yawn. "It comes with studying for a couple thousand years."

Ventri gave up with trying to support himself up on the couch as his knees threatened to give out. He decided to sit next to the other, and leaned on him heavially.

"Why'd you stay up?"

"...Reasons." Ventri muttered, obviously not very happy about it. He suppressed a cringe as an arm was put around him.

Vaati, not having any restrictions to his behaviour, nuzzled the other's hair. "Such as?"

"Some intruder for about five minutes when you were gone." He fought back a yawn with a sigh. "And then since they broke the window the rest of the time was spent trying to keep warm and sleep. Of course both are hard to do at the same time..."

"An intruder?"

_What was the game called he told me I was playing? Twenty questions?_ "She was probably looking for either you or me."

"A fangirl?"

"...Is that what you call them?" He closed his eyes.

Vaati let out a laugh. "Yes." He pulled the book to where it was across both their laps. "They're such vicious things."

"I was walking in here to sleep on the couch but I fell asleep behind it." Ventri mumbled.

"Poor thing."

"..." In truth Ventri still couldn't see how his future self could take such a liking to his own body. They were pratically the same, even if they _were_ from different dimensions. He furrowed his brow as the other kissed his head. _Yup, I still don't understand this one bit._

"Maybe we should try a rejuvination spell." Vaati suggested with a grin. "This looks like one." He pointed to a string of text in the book.

Again the sense of dread.

"_**Lahk kel to dah no sey vai riis no rak**_." Vaati recited, waggling his fingers at the other menacingly.

They both sat there for a couple minutes.

"...Well?" He asked.

"I'm going to go get myself some coffee." Ventri sighed as he stood up.

"Thought so." Vaati muttered, smirking at the stupidity of the book.

The cup of the dark brew did absolutely nothing to help with Ventri's exhaustion. He stared at the liquid, fighting the possibility of him passing out right then and there. "I don't think it helped." He muttered quietly, forcing his eyes open.

A very concerned look crossed Vaati's face. "Maybe you should get some rest, sweetie?"

"Yeah, maybe." He fought a yawn. "I hate this..."

"I'm sorry."

After a moment of hesitation, Ventri added, "I'm not attempting to sleep in that room again." He shivered with the thought. "Even under all the blankets in the house its still a freezer in there. Mostly because of the broken window."

"Can't say as that I blame you." Vaati said, his eyebrows raising a little at the remark. "Might I ask how the window was shattered?"

Ventri gave him a sheepish grin. "I tossed the intruder back out it." His eyelids shut momentarilly before he pried them open again.

Vaati was beside him in a second. He lifted him from the chair and carried him to the couch. When he sat the other down he noticed the blanket on the ground. Putting it on him, he kissed him.

Ventri was too tired to complain.

"Sleep well." Vaati smiled at him. As he turned to go, his shirt was tugged on and he fell down onto the couch. He looked at him questioningly. "Vents?"

He responded quietly. "Just because I'm under blankets in the warmest room in the house doesn't mean I'm freezing to death at the moment."

Vaati gave a small smile and wrapped his arms around the other, then eventually followed suit and drifted off to sleep.

**AN: yeaaa it'll be confusing with the names at first, but trust me. you get used to it. R&R?**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: yup, a bit longer of a chapter. This one was fun to do. Now what exactly was that spell Vaati cast, I wonder... R&R!**

Ventri awoke late the next day. He sat up on the couch and shivered, and looked around for the other. He was nowhere to be seen, presumeably at his work. Ventri slipped from the couch then turned bright red as he realized he had no clothes on. His ears followed suit as he remembered what had happened that previous night. A quick glance provided him with the sight of the bottle that contained last night's alcohol. With a quiet complaint he slipped into the robe that was provided for him on the back of the chair.

Something just didn't feel... _right_.

Deciding that he just needed to feel the cool water on his face, he walked into the bathroom. As he splashed some of it on his face, it did nothing for him but to soak his hair. He glared at his reflection in the mirror as the water dripped from his hair to the sink.

_Maybe I just need some coffee_. He reasoned to himself, rubbing his head with a towel. He paused at the stairs leading up to the next level, remembering the window. He quietly made his way up and peeked inside the room. Within the next second the door was shut again, upon the sight of multiple people sitting inside it. His eye twitched, remembering Vaati's word for them. _"Fangirls?" Seriously? Narcassistic..._ He rambled on mentally, heading downstairs. Deciding just to forget about it all, he walked into the kitchen, then a slip of paper caught his eye on the table.

"_I made coffee since I knew you'd need some when you woke up. I didn't know what kind you like so its my personal favorite, Gerudo Dark Roast. I hope you don't mind it strong - like me - Haha. Love you. See ya this afternoon, I had some errands to run.  
~Your VaaVaa_"

It took him several times to read it, considering his mind was still fuzzy. But eventually he gave a small smile, alebeit a slightly annoyed one. He put it down and made himself a cup the way he normally would, and took a rather large drink of it.

He abruptly spat it into the sink, almost choking on it.

He stared at the coffee distatesfully, but decided he needed to drink it anyways. He forced himself to chug it and coughed afterwards, then let out a sad sigh as it did nothing to help with his muddled mind.

The door in the main room opened, then closed shut.

Ventri peeked around the corner, unsure if it was one of these "fangirls" the other had talked about, or if it was VaaVaa himself.

Upon seeing the long purple hair, he ran forward and hugged him.

"Vents." Vaati smiled warmly, happy he actually was getting a reasonable welcome. It was definitely a change in attitude, considering the other usually only let out a slight wave or a grunt of acknowledgment.

"Why'd you leave me with a room full of people upstairs?" Ventri whimpered, and clung to him tighter.

That was when Vaati realized the hug was actually for protection. "I.. didn't realize..." He muttered, on edge suddenly.

"I told you the window was broken."

"Yea I didn't think anything of it... Sorry. I can go fix it now if you'd like." He smiled, hoping to appease him.

"Oh its evidently no problem to you now." Ventri muttered, pulling away. He made his way back into the main room.

"...What just happened?" Vaati muttered, blinking a little. He followed suit only to see the other with his arms crossed on the couch. Not a good sign. He leaned on the back of the couch anyways. "You alright, love?" he asked nervously, attempting a smile.

Just silent tension was his answer.

"I-I take it as a no." He said quietly, his smile fading.

"You made the worst kind of coffee. You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Ventri growled quietly.

The other recoiled a bit, surprised yet again. "Um, no... I like that kind of coffee and I don't know what kind you like."

"You see me make it every day." He was obviously fuming, but for what reasons Vaati didn't understand.

"I do?" He asked quietly.

Ventri's eye twitched.

"I guess I've never paid attention before." Vaati said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry."

Ventri turned his back on him and glared out the window, seething. "Not to mention you got really drunk last night."

Vaati gulped, feeling nervous. Ventri rarely ever got into these moods, but none of them were ever this bad.

"I've told you time and time again, not to do that. It's fine just to have a _little_ bit but too much is bad for your health." His eye twitched again.

"I'm sorry... I should probably clean up a little..."

"I-I..." Ventri wiped at his eyes as they started to water. "I just don't w-want anything bad to happen to you..."

Vaati felt his eyes widen. "I'll be fine, darling." He never showed these kinds of emotions around him.

"Don't call me that." Ventri snapped.

"Sorry... Why not?"

"Makes me sound like a girl."

"What would you prefer then?"

The silent tension was present yet again.

Vaati let out a sigh and moved around to sit beside him. The other leaned away. He dropped his face into his hands. "What did I do?" he whined. He was confused and he was starting to get really frustrated.

Letting out a sigh, Ventri leaned on him.

As an automatic response, Vaati hugged the other.

"Don't touch me."

He pulled away, and proceeded to stare on ahead with a blank expression. "What. Has. Gotten. Into you?" he asked hopelessly.

"_Well_, let's see. _Last night_..." He was becoming more and more irritable.

Next to him, Vaati shifted uncomfortably. Yes, he had gotten extremely drunk the night before. And again, yes, they had done things on the very couch they sat on.

"..." Ventri reached up and rubbed at a slight tickle on his face. He paused, then pulled away and started to rub furiously at it. "Don't tell me I have acne again!"

Vaati raised an eyebrow. "Again? How can you? You're Minish."

"You would remember!" Ventri whined. "Even Minish get acne!"

"I don't recall ever having it."

He glowered at the ground, frustrated and trying to wrap his mind around things. "Its just 'cause you're old."

Vaati tried to ignore the jab at his age, then gave in and leaned back on the couch. He crossed his arms and cooly stated "Just because I'm old doesn't mean I've lost my wit. I'm pretty wise."

"Don't you dare get smart with me." Ventri growled.

"Not hard to do around you."

Vaati cried out suddenly as a hand connected to the side of his face. "Gah!" He held his cheek. "I deserved that."

The other stood and walked over to the window, and glared outside at the cold weather. _Its the cold. That's what's doing this to me._ He tried to assure himself.

"Vents... Just talk to me."

He got no response.

"Oh come on. I'm no mind reader, though I tried to read a book on it once."

"Not that you'd understand." At the curious look, Ventri gave no response yet again. He was actually glad that the other didn't have the ability. His own thoughts were a jumbled mess at the moment.

They sat in silence for several minutes, one staring out the window while the other tried to figure out what was happening.

Finally, Ventri broke the silence. Slowly, he asked his question. "What... Was that spell... That you said yesterday?" The other bust up laughing. "I'm asking you a serious question! Don't laugh at me!" He was becoming furious, yet his eyes threatened to fill to the brim with tears.

"You mean that garbage 'ritual' thing?" He chuckled again. "How _can_ I take you seriously? You called it a spell. As though it means anything."

All the while that he talked, Ventri tried his best to understand. All he knew was that he was getting more and more upset, so much so that he pried his hand open from clenching it shut. He could feel the blood well up from the cuts made by his nails.

With a sigh Vaati stood and made his way over. Knowing he was either going to be yelled at or slapped, he put his arms around the other and pulled him close.

Neither happened. Ventri put his hands over his face and let out a small whine. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing love." Vaati murmured and kissed him on the cheek.

"G-gah." Ventri flailed a little and pulled away.

Vaati hid his pain with a shrug. In an attempt to pacify the other, he went to get the book.

Growing more and more upset, Ventri sat in the corner he was closest to. He didn't look up when the other came back and was searching aimlessly through the book.

"Look... I'll show you. It's nothing." Vaati muttered, flipping through the pages. He remembered it was towards the back and turned it over. "Where was it..." He muttered to himself.

All the while, Ventri felt like his mental state was falling appart. Something was definitely not right. He sniffled, hoping not to cry.

Hearing the sniff, Vaati looked over at him. "Hey, you alright?"

"If I die I'm blaming you." Ventri growled.

Vaati sighed. "You won't die." He reached out to pat the other on the shoulder, but Ventri pulled away. He ignored the rejection and turned back to the book. "I believe it was in the last chapter..."

A slight pause as he took it all in.

"Oh... my..." He blinked. "It appears... these are biologically beneficial wards and... I don't know that word... but it kind of looks like the Hylian word for... health? But not quite. I don't know how to decipher it..."

Ventri curled up over his knees as he drew them to his chest. "I really am going to die." He whined to himself.

"Do you think its a reliefe for... cold? I assume it means cold in the modern sense as in the illness... advanced... impressi- no. I doubt it's a cure for a cold that's done this..."

"Are you even looking at the right one?" Ventri growled a little. He repeated the first few words of the spell.

"Lahk kel?"

"Its what you said." Ventri snapped, then turned his back to him again.

"...lahk kel..."

Deciding he needed space, Ventri made his way to the couch. He grabbed a pillow and pulled it to his chest, glaring at the other from over it.

The other's eyes widened. "No... no no no nonono..."

"What?" Ventri asked, not pleased with the way he was acting.

Vaati looked up at him, obviously panicking a little. "Ventri..."

"So I am going to die?"

"...no." He sighed. "What do you know of animals and humans alike? About all complex life-forms?"

Ventri's mind went through a slight shut down at the mention of the word "complex." It was already fuzzy as it was. "They all die?" It seemed to be the only thing he could think of, and it didn't please the other in the slightest.

"Ugh, not that. What of organs, tissues?" He just recieved more glares. "Organ systems? Anything at all?" He asked, hopeful.

"What of it?"

He shook his head and looked back at the book. "This is all just...I... but its... backwards... and wrong..."

"Make some damn sense, would you?" Ventri snapped, becoming irritated.

"Gahh I'm sorry." He winced. "Well... It would uhhh... it would seem that... the spell I cast on you..." He coughs a little, nervous. "Its said to reverse the functions of a certain... organ system... to the extreme..." He added in quietly at the end, "That would explain the moodiness..."

"Eh?"

"Uhm, nothing." He paused, trying to think of a way to explain. "Basically... you are full of estrogen... which is a female hormone... actually."

"Meaning?"

"Hormones... You know what those are?"

"Just what the hell are you getting at?!" Ventri cried, becoming increasingly frustrated.

Vaati was attempting to skirt around it. "Well... um... let's just put it this way. You'll be fine in about..." He looked at his phone. "In about sixteen more hours?"

"...the hell did that do to me...?"

"...Nothing... major... its just Voodoo... All fake. Yes. Fake. It can't be real." He closed the book, his voice strained.

"You expect me to believe that when your voice is obviously three octaves higher?" Ventri glowered at him. "Tell. Me."

Vaati attempted to change the subject. "Octaves? So you're learned in music but not organ systems? Oh how lowly the education system of the Minish is."

"Its Ezlo's fault, dumb ass."

"Ezlo... that's a name I haven't heard in years." Vaati murmured quietly to himself, attempting to draw away from the original subject.

So much for that. Ventri, becoming more and more stressed, stood and made his way over to the other. He reached out and grabbed the collar of his shirt. "What did you to to me?" he asked in a low growl.

Vaati raised his eyes from where his shirt was being grabbed. He knew what he was capable of, and this knowledge didn't lessen any fear of what might happen. He finally blurted it out, a bit loudly. "It's a fertility spell... a fertility spell.. it's supposed to make it so that you are able to bear children!" He pulled back, cowering from the other's wrath.

Ventri, a bit shocked at this news, just took the pillow he was holding and slammed it down on his head. Then, without another word, he turned and went back to his corner. He sat, then put his head against the wall.

"I knew you shouldn't have gotten drunk last night." He whispered glumly.

"In any case, its probably fake. It probably just made you hormonal. You'll be fine. Everything will be fine." it sounded like he was just reassuring himself.

_If it were fake it wouldn't be making me "hormonal."_ Ventri thought to himself, not quite sure what to make of it all. But the more thought about it. _A fertility spell... and then he did that to me last night..._ He abruptly let a sob escape his chest as he doubled over.

"Hey hey hey. Its alright." Vaati said with a forced smile. He walked over and sat next to him, and rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe him. He was only ignored. He felt his ears droop as he apologized. "I'm sorry. I really am." He looked at the ground.

"I... then... that means..." Ventri paused, still attempting to make sense of it all. "I-it makes you able to have kids..." He let out a stressed laugh. "And then it increases your fertility... I really don't have a choice, do I?" He whimpered.

"Choice of what?" The other asked, tilting his head. He knew exactly what it was the moment he asked. He caught him as he abruptly fell to the side, with his hands over his face.

"D-don't touch me." Ventri said with a sniffle.

Defeated, the other laid him on the ground.

"Please don't cry."

"I-It's hard n-not to." He whimpered, then added silently, _Its your own damn fault I'm like this._

"I know... its just... it hurts to see you... hurting. If that makes any sense at all."

"I'm scared." Ventri whispered, trying to calm his shaking hands. _This shouldn't be happening. I shouldn't even be here in this place._

The other nodded a little. "I know. I can tell." He scooted closer and started to stroke the latter's long hair. "It's okay. I'm here, no matter what. I'll always be here, Ventri." At the lack of response, he took it negatively. He slowed to a stop with his movements, then finally sighed.

"...You promise?"

The question came as a surprise to Vaati. A small smile crept onto his face. "Yeah, I promise."

With his question answered, Ventri rolled over and pressed his face into the other's leg.

After a while, the silence had to be broken. "Now..." Vaati murmured to him. "How about you tell me what your favorite kind of coffee is so that I can go make you some? Unless you'd rather get a little rest?"

"I... I really can't think of the name of it at the moment."

"Ah. How about I go pick you up a latte then?" He stood up and held his hand out to the younger version sitting on the ground. "C'mon, I don't offer ever day." He gave a wink to him.

Ventri sighed and pulled himself up, then leaned on him. His head was still fuzzy, and it was getting harder and harder to concentrate. He couldn't come up with a valid point to argue when he was picked up and carried to the couch. There was only one thing ringing clearly in his mind at the moment.

_A fertility spell... For the love of... out of all the spells in there he chooses _that_one..._

He buried his face into a pillow as he was covered with a blanket. The other couldn't know about his feelings. He obviously wasn't as worried about it. _After all..._ Ventri tried to reason. _Its not his body he has to worry about._

Vaati bent down and kissed the top of the other's head, then stepped out of the house.

**AN: Angsty Vents is angsty. xD the way a friend described it to me was two years worth of being on your menstrual cycle moodiness combined into 48 hours. xD;;**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: C'mon guys... I know you're reading this... the stats say so. But I promise things will be more interesting soon. ^^;**

Vaati yawned as he walked in through the door. It had been a somewhat long day, but not as long as the usual. "It's only 11." He noted to himself, and stretched. He picked up the coffee he had set down and walked into the kitchen. The coffee pot had been broken due to a slight accident of someone's fingers becoming "slippery" -a slight revenge spell Ventri had cast on him that lasted 48 hours in return- so he had to buy coffee every morning.

He was slightly glad that he didn't run into Ventri at first, but at the lack of sound, he became worried. "Is he not up yet?" He asked himself, and made his way upstairs. He knocked on the door. "Vents? You okay?"

There was a quiet muffled response from inside. "Not really."

He gave a small pout, then silently entered the room.

The curtains were still drawn from the night before, and Ventri was in the same position from when the other had left... for the most part, anyways. He was curled up around a pillow, and he had his face pressed into it.

"What is it?" Vaati questioned him quietly, and went to stand next to the bed.

"I feel like _crap_." Ventri whined.

"Hm? This is a bit sudden. You were fine last night. Do you think maybe you're getting sick?"

"I-I dunno... Don't feel warm, do I?" He asked quietly.

"Well, sit up for me." Vaati suggested. While the other obeyed, he set the cup of coffee on the table. "I grabbed you some coffee as usual. But this time it's cheap, because this genius-" He puffed out his chest a little and pointed at himself. "-forgot his wallet so it was all I could afford." Once the other was situated, he felt his forehead then his neck. "Yeah... Maybe you're a little warm."

Ventri sniffed a little, smelling the coffee. He abruptly blanched. "O-Oh goddesses get that away from me..." He whimpered, pressing his face into the pillow again.

The other gave him an odd look and shrugged, then picked it up and sipped at it. He hid a shudder. "Yeah, it's not good." He set it back down.

The smell made its way through the fibers of the pillow.

With a small cry, Ventri pressed a hand to his mouth and ran to the bathroom across the hall.

Vaati stood there in shock, not sure what just happened. After a few seconds, he went to the window and dumped the contents of the cup out, then went into the bathroom.

The other was hunched over the toilet, breathing hard after his stomach had rejected the prior night's meal. As another wave hit him, he started to fall to his knees. Vaati warped next to him before he could fall all the way, then rubbed his back as he was sick again.

"Wow, its not like you to be this sick this suddenly..."

Ventri finally pulled back, gasping. "I-I've felt bad for the past c-couple days... I just sh-shrugged it off..." He muttered, shivering.

"Its odd because you really don't look awful at all... I mean, no bags under your eyes or anything... just... pale."

Ventri sank to the ground, pulling the other with him. He gave a shaky sigh and leaned against him. "Feel like I should look horrible if I feel this way..."

"You actually look rather nice, apart from the misery plastered all over your face, you poor thing." He picked him up and carried him to his couch in the livingroom. Out of all the furniture in the room, Ventri had claimed the couch as his own. And from that moment on, it was rare to see anyone but him on it, let alone sharing it.

And the owner of it curled up on himself. "It's probably not a good idea... Being this far away..."

"Well there's a bathroom down the hall. You're not _that_ far away." He patted the other's head, attempting to soothe him. "Can I get you anything?"

A shake of the head.

"You sure?"

"A way to make me feel better... Instead of wanting to vomit my guts up."

Vaati gave a slight grimace at that mental image. It wasn't a good one in the slightest. "If only I knew what you have... I know lots of remedies. I read a few books about them." He stopped for a moment as the other wrapped his arms around his waist and groaned. Sure he wasn't going to be sick again, he continued on. "Hmm... There's a number of possible causes. Stomach flu... I doubt it though. Everything we've had has been fresh and cooked right... That makes food poisonoing out of the question." He sat there for a moment, pondering. A small realization crept up into his mind. "I know what you might need... some ginger." He said, snapping his fingers.

Ventri shook his head. "I don't want to eat _anything_ at the moment."

"No, trust me." He went off into the kitchen and searched through the pantry. Finally finding what he was looking for, he came back with a few ginger snaps. "Eat them, you'll feel better."

The small cookies in his hand only received a glare.

"Please? Just try it."

Ventri hesitantly reached out and took one, nibbling on it. His stomach already started to rebel against him.

"Well... You'll need to eat them all if you hope to ingest enough ginger to actually make a difference." He held out the three to him.

"I-I'm scared I'll get sick again." Ventri whimpered, but took them anyways.

"I know." Vaati sighed, then bent over and looked him in the eyes. "But if you eat these, I won't bug you to try anything else, okay?" He asked gently.

With a small nod, Ventri somehow forced himself to eat the three of them.

"Better?"

"N-Not really." He whimpered again, curling up on himself.

"One more thing." Vaati said and warped to the kitchen.

_Wait.. what? Didn't he just say he wouldn't make me-_

Ventri's thoughts were interrupted as the other came back with a long stick of greenery. Celery.

"Wh-what is that?" He asked, leaning away. "Why?" Vaati sat on the couch, which irked the other a little. The green scent of the stalk made its way to Ventri, and he abruptly shot off the couch to the bathroom.

Vaati sighed and walked back to put it in the fridge. "Thought so. Morning sickness." He teleported to the bathroom, and sat next to the other.

"G-get that foul plant out of this house!" Ventri gasped, sliding to the ground.

"I got rid of it, don't worry." Vaati murmured reassuringly to him. "Just stay away from food, its best that way. You should start to feel better in an hour or two." He sighed. "Bad news, the ginger didn't help you. The good news, I know what you have. Bad news again... It's... Um, morning sickness... Which can only mean one thing."

"Yea I figured it was that." The other shifted nervously. "I know..."

"I figured you probably did... but I had to make sure." He sighed. "So... On a scale of docile to homicidal... how mad are you?"

The other ignored the question, and his hand fell to his stomach. "So there's really something living down there?" He whispered quietly.

Vaati knelt down next to him and put his hand over the other's, then felt his abdomen. "Solid..." He paused. "How long has it been this way?" He asked.

A shrug. "I... I don't know..."

Vaati looked up into the other's eyes. "You're... Oh my goddesses... You're pregnant..." He collapsed to the side, completely unconscious.

"Gah!" Ventri flailed away to avoid being landed on. He huffed, relaxing a little at seeing the sight. "Not making it any better." He growled, then sighed heavily. "It shouldn't even be possible..." He looked at Vaati again and debated pulling him off to the couch, but the way his stomach felt, he decided against it. Instead, he sunk down the wall next to him, and waited.

A while later, after he dozed off, the other started to come to. Vaati stayed on the ground, keeping his eyes shut. He could feel Ventri's presence next to him, then slowly, he realized there was another with him. His eyes flew open as he sat up. "I can sense it. It wasn't a dream." He whispered. He turned to the other. "Its alive... it really is..."

Ventri rubbed his eyes, waking up. "Eh?" He was abruptly flailing and pushing him away as the other kissed him passionately. His stomach started to wake up as his mind did, but the other didn't seem to care.

"I... I don't know what to think. I don't know whether to be happy or scared or what..." Vaati mumbled, seeming to space out a little. "A baby... A real baby... us..."

Ventri let out a groan and doubled over as his stomach started to rebel yet again. The other rubbed his back, worried. "I hate this..." he whined.

"I'm sorry Vents."

"...How much longer do I have to put up with this?" He whimpered quietly, dropping his face into his hands.

"I take it you know nothing of pregnancy..." Vaati cleared his throat. Luckily his years of research were finally starting to pay off. "Well... In _humans_ it takes about nine and a half months..." This caused a loud groan from the other. "Minish pregnancies last about three months..." He paused. "Goddesses... I have no way of telling."

_The princess might know._ Ventri thought to himself quietly. He immediately rejected the idea. _No, we'd be killed. Without a second thought. Not to mention she probably won't trust or believe either of us if we _do_ stay alive..._

"You're male... It was an accident caused by a spell... You're a minish in human form..." He paused, thinking. "Hmm... I doubt it. We need science!" He cried, pumping his fist into the air. The both sat there, Ventri staring blankly at him. "Um... maybe not." He sighed, his arm falling limply to the side. "We need a doctor to look you over; We need a modern doctor..."

"So in other words a doctor who won't believe a word you say about me being pregnant when I'm obviously a guy?" The other cringed. "I... I hate to say it but..." He had no choice but to mention it now. "Maybe... I'm guessing the princes _would_ be educated in this kind of stuff... Even if it is with a male... And she'd be more believing and possibly-" _Hopefully._ "-trust us more." He looked away.

"Well then, if that's what you think... Then we'll go to the princess. After all, it's _your_ body."

Ventri felt a pang of anxiety run through him. _Second thoughts. Probably not a good idea now._ His mind started to run rampant, then it was interrupted.

"Are you feeling any better now?"

"A-a little bit." He answered sheepishly. "Still don't feel like eating anything."

"I don't blame you." He reached down and pulled him up, supporting him. "I don't feel like walking there, and besides, the guards probably won't willingly let us talk to the princess. So.. I'm going to do something I shouldn't. You tell no one." He muttered, poking the other's chest.

Ventri gave a small nod, not seeing the point of telling his own secrets.

With a snap and a gesture at the wall, Vaati created a dark purple portal. He stepped over to it. "C'mon." He walked through it.

Ventri starred in apprehension at it. Something, he felt, was going to go wrong. He followed as the other went through, and stopped again in front of it.

"Coming?" Vaati muttered, peeking back in to look at him.

Swallowing hard, Ventri nodded and followed through the portal.

**AN: Oh ho ho ho. Cliff hanger? Eh heh heh.**

**R&R PLEASE! I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE! Comment and save a llama.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So yeaaa this one is a LOT longer than the others. I hope this doesn't bother any of you invisible readers that never comment. XD**

**Anyways lotsa drama in this one. Enjoy~**

The moment he walked through, Ventri felt the dark purple portal close behind him. Looking around, he saw the light beige walls lined with pillars stretched down the corridor as far as the eye could see. There were occasional breaks in the wall, evidently leading down to other halls and rooms. The floor's stone was smooth and shined with the light.

"We're here."

He nodded a little and looked at the other's expectant face. He shook his head a little. "You first." He whispered, hating how even the small noise carried so far. "That way if we get attacked…"

"The baby lives." Vaati finished coolly, and walked ahead.

Ventri cringed, not too sure how to feel about sharing his body with another life yet. The most he felt for it was that it was a parasite, leeching sustenance from his own life force.

Pushing his thoughts to the side, he started to follow as the other proceeded on ahead. He looked around nervously, realizing even their footsteps carried.

"I see they've kept the place nicely." Vaati acknowledged. "The floors shine so much I can see myself in them." He looked up from the floor. "Of course, I don't care too much for the statues around here." He pointed to them. "I don't remember them being here." He scratched the side of his head in thought, then let out a _hmph_. "Must be new."

Ventri watched the statues, feeling highly paranoid. _At least we're not warping directly into the princess's quarters. Its bad enough I've been so close to her before… This time it might be without her clothes. And after seeing my _future self_ fawning over me and doing things I would rather not remember…_

"The lights are rather lovely." The comment pulled his mind off the rambling thoughts in his head.

"I have a really bad feeling about these thins." He muttered.

"I'd sense if they were living. They're just statues as far as I can tell."

Ventri paused, thinking hard about it. "Do you remember the statues Ezlo helped make? That only us as the Minish could turn them on? They're mechanical… They could be 'alive.'"

"Then I would bet that every third one is an Armos Knight." Vaati turned to give him a grin as he felt his shirt grasped. "Maybe. They shouldn't go off unless ordered to." He patted the other's head. "We're safe for now. It'll be alright."

"But who are we?" Ventri whispered back, seeming rushed. "We're both the same past wind mage who almost caused complete destruction to Hyrule and froze the princess into stone…"

Vaati chuckled. "Maybe in your time." He continued forward, not minding how loud he was at all. "In fact, I'm just a scholar to them in my current state. I'm actually valuable to them." He paused. "Only slightly. I'm still very disposable if they so choose, but I'm not a simple criminal anymore."

"I'm not a 'simple' criminal anymore either." Ventri complained back quietly, pouting at the other.

Vaati abruptly turned and swept him up into a tight embrace and kissed him. He stayed for a moment, ignoring the other's complaints. As he was pushed back with a swear, he looked around nervously. "Do you hear that?" He whispered.

Ventri swallowed, his heart still about to burst out of his chest. He tried to calm his breathing so that the other could hear better.

"Do you hear that clicking? It sounds like…" He tilted his head to the side. "Footsteps?"

Ventri swallowed hard and backed up against the wall. He looked up at the statue, and quietly begged it not to awaken as he slid behind it into the shadows.

"It is, but where fro-"

A sudden shout "_Halt_!" interrupted him. Turning he saw a guard approaching.

"Oh shit…" He whispered, ears drooping.

Ventri, having almost knocked over the metallic armor over from his jump, was very glad that he hid.

"Yes, Sir?" Vaati smiled in an attempt to be friendly. "Was something the ma-" The guard abruptly struck him by the blunt end of his spear, right in his stomach. He coughed a little. "Wh-what the…? It's me you-" He was struck again. He crumpled to the ground with his arms around his waist, groaning a little.

From the shadows, Ventri felt his hand twitch as he tried to contain his magic. No, he wasn't going to attack with magic. That would just cause even more trouble for them.

"What is a creature of _your kind_ doing in the royal hall without consent?" The guard growled, brandishing his spear to hit him again if needed.

"I was simply seeking an audience with the princess, sir." He muttered, coming off with a little bit of sass. "Is she in today-" He was struck hard in the side of the head, and fell to the side.

"Leave here at once, demon!" The guard spat.

"Demon…? _Demon_?!" Vaati said, growing angry. "You _dare_ refer to me as such?!" He attempted to stand again but was struck in the back, and crumpled back to the ground.

Ventri took a shaky breath and took a step forward. "Please stop." He whispered quietly.

The guard turned to him. "Wait… There are two of you?!" He brandished the spear again and looked between the two.

Knowing it was a blow to his pride, Ventri got to his knees and bowed. "Please, sir… We only wish to seek audience with the princess… If you need to put magic restraints on us you can…"

"Damnit Vents." Vaati hissed, forcing himself up again.

The guard disregarded everything the one on the ground had said. "Shadow demons! Begone back to the dark world, you horrid beasts!" He raised the spear's end.

Ventri watched as the spear started to head down onto his face, then blinked as it disappeared.

Vaati snapped the spear over his knee easily. His eyes were starting to glow a fluorescent orange-ish red, and his pupils were dilated to slits. "If you hurt him you have to deal with me." He growled. "Nobody hurts my Vents."

"Both of you just stop already!" Ventri whined a little. "Hasn't enough pain and harm been done already?!" He took a sharp inhale and pressed his hand over his mouth, going pale again.

The guard raised his hands to his neck as Vaati started to lift him off the ground with one hand. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you. _One good reason_…" His voice echoed down the halls.

"V-Vaati stop it…"

The guard continued to choke, squirming to try and get free.

A sudden female voice interrupted the scene. "Well I never thought we would meet again, Ellrin."

Vaati dropped the guard, who fell to his knees and gasped for air. He turned to the voice. "Princess, we came here to-"

"I know."

Vaati paused, thinking for a moment. "My name isn't Ellri-"

"No, but I'll call you that rather than your true name so it won't cause my guard to fear anymore." The said guard had fallen to the ground, fighting to stay awake. "Or anyone else for that matter. Everyone thought that you… that _he_ was dead." Zelda muttered quietly.

"Perchance I am." Vaati responded coolly.

"And you, mage. Who are you?" She turned to Ventri, who had pressed up against the wall again.

"Don't mind him." Vaati quickly covered. "He's with me. We need to speak with you in private."

"Well I'd hate to see you kill any of my men, so if you'll follow me, we won't delay any longer."

Vaati nodded politely. "Of course." He looked to Ventri and waved for him to follow. He turned to follow the princess down the hall.

Cursing his luck, Ventri stood up slowly and followed behind them.

"What are you doing here, Ellrin? You've awakened from your grave?"

"Something like that."

"So you say you wanted to speak with me about something… Though why would I be inclined to share information with the dead?"

Vaati chuckled. "The dead can always offer information in return, if that's what you want."

"No. Nothing you know is of value to me."

Ventri cleared his throat, then spoke a bit loudly. "I love how you two are talking like I don't exist." He said, his voice dripping with the sarcasm.

The two ahead turned to him. "Have we met?" The princess questioned. "Why do you wear such strange clothes?"

"He's not from our ti-"

"Hush. Let him speak for himself." She said, giving Vaati a sharp look.

Ventri took a deep breath, realizing now was his time to talk. "We met… Rather, your ancestor and I met… and it was a very long time ago." He grimaced. "A-and…" He closed his eyes. "Do you happen to have a restroom around here?" He whispered shakily.

She nodded. "Just down the hall to the left."

As he ran off down the hall, she turned to Vaati. "That child mustn't be born."

Ventri paused at the corner, having just turned it when he heard the words echo down the hall. The moment they were said, he felt something. His hand dropped to his stomach. No, it wasn't painful, but it wasn't pleasant. It was just a reminder. All feelings of nausea were swept away as he leaned back against the wall and listened as the words echoed to him.

"Is that what you want?" Vaati growled, glaring at her.

"Yes. I'll give you anything, but that child must die."

"Never."

She narrowed her eyes threateningly. "Surely you have a price, Ellrin?"

"No, you cannot buy me out on this. Not the whole kingdom is worth the life of the child…"

"Stubborn." She growled.

"Persistent." He muttered back, returning her glare.

"Dumbass." Ventri said as he walked back. The princess gave a slight jump upon seeing him, expecting him to still be in the bathroom. "Sorry, it was a false alarm." He looked to Vaati and he could see the tension that was plastered there on his face. He sighed and turned to the princess. "But… I must ask. Why do you not wish for it to be born?" He questioned quietly.

Her eyes widened, not expecting him to have heard it. "I am the past. I am the future. I am the present. I know what the child will become and I know that this world is better off if it perishes."

Again, he felt the same fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach. He glanced at Vaati and saw the despair on his face. He swallowed hard. "Even i-if its kept under supervision by you?"

"Especially if kept under my care. That monster inside of you is not a child." She disregarded the other's looks of disapproval. "It is the apocalypse waiting to be born. Armageddon waiting to come."

Ventri could feel the sting of tears. "N-no it isn't." He whispered, in denial. Vaati stepped closer, putting a hand on the other's shoulder. Ventri shook his head a little and scooted back, stepping away until he hit the his back on the wall. "I-It won't."

"It will. I know. I have seen it."

Vaati growled and went to stand by him protectively. "How long until it comes?"

"Four and a half months." She said stiffly, raising her chin into the air.

Ventri fell to his knees and started to sob. The other knelt next to him, rubbing his shoulders.

"There is an evil man… He is the king of all creatures of darkness. He has lived for thousands of years and he is coming for the child. And once he obtains her, no one can save us."

"H-her?!" Vaati exclaimed, all prior thoughts and worries forgotten. The other two seemed a bit taken aback at his sudden enthusiasm. He turned to Ventri. "Did you hear that? She's a little girl, a little baby girl." He had a dazed look on his face, a look of moronic happiness.

Ventri grimaced as he was pulled into a hug. His ears drooped, and the bad feeling he had before came rushing back. Not only that, but the fact the girl in front of them knew about it before she was told… It made it all the more real.

"Vents, what's wrong?" Vaati questioned worriedly.

"Unclean, vile monstrosities!" The princess shouted. She pulled out a bow and arrow, and the tip of the arrow's blade shone with a golden light.

Vaati swore and stood between the two of them. "W-wait… please… no let's just get out of here…" Ventri pleaded him. "A-away…"

"If you want to kill him, you'll have to get through me!" Vaati shouted back at her.

She drew her arm back, and released it.

A light purple, see through barrier went up in front of the two, but Ventri's magic was useless. But the arrow flew off to the side and shattered a statue.

Both of them stared at the princess, as she shook her head and muttered quietly, "I can't."

"Can't what?" Vaati growled.

"I can't kill you. I cannot take your life and leave him alone to fend for the life of your child… so just…. Just go. I won't say anything." She added with a whisper. Vaati stared at her in shock, not noticing the slight tug on the back of his shirt. "Go!" The girl shouted, seeming to become a bit angry.

Vaati opened up the same portal again, this time below them. They fell through it, and landed in the middle of the living room in their house.

He sat there panting, completely out of breath from the magic exertion. Ventri on the other hand paced around the room. "Damned emotions!" He growled angrily and kicked at the table.

"That light arrow…" Vaati muttered, starting to regain his breath. Ventri paused and turned to look at him. "It would have gone through your barrier. I'm glad she's hindered by her own emotions. I think that if she weren't… Either we'd both be dead or you'd be trapped in the wrong timeline."

Ventri turned and regained his pacing, something tugging at the edge of his mind.

"Don't worry sweetie. Every thing will be fine now. Besides. We have our answer!" He smiled up at him in a vain attempt to bring him out of the current mood. "Six months total. We only have about four or so left until she arrives." He had the same happy expression as earlier.

Ventri wasn't appeased. There was still a nagging feeling, and it only grew stronger with mention of the future. He dropped his hand down to his stomach, taking a shaky breath. "When she said we had to kill… her…" He started cautiously. "I…" He could feel the other's eyes look up to him. "I was… I didn't really care but…"

"You were what?"

He cringed. "I was… indifferent. But…"

"But?" Vaati questioned, becoming a bit impatient.

Ventri sighed and sat down on his couch, dropping his face into his hands. "I-I think I felt it." He was crying a little, but he managed to smile a little. "I felt her."

Within a moment, Vaati was next to him on the couch, excited. "What was it like?" He asked, grinning.

"It wasn't strong enough to really feel it but it was… Eh, it was kind of like a little fluttering I guess."

"Like a heartbeat?"

Ventri shook his head then paused, making a face. "Like I swallowed a moth."

Vaati laughed, but the other wasn't very amused by it. "Well that hardly sounds pleasant." He said, doing his best to contain his excitement.

"Well it wasn't necessarily _un_pleasant either."

"No?"

"It was like… Something that's always been there but your attention was just then brought to it… Like when you catch yourself daydreaming, I guess."

"I guess I kind of understand." Vaati muttered, looking off to the side.

There was a pause, then Ventri dropped his hands down to his stomach again. He ran them across his midsection while the other watched with an amused expression. Ventri was the opposite. "Was I this big this morning?" He asked, seeming to panic a little.

"Hm?" Vaati looked down, all hints of amusement fading. Nothing was really to be seen, but evidently the change was evident to the other. "It… well… I don't know." He muttered, afraid of being slapped.

Ventri pulled on his shirt, revealing a very slight bump. "That was _not_ there this morning." He growled quietly.

"That's odd."

Ventri sighed and let out a small whine. "I don't want to be huge." He turned to look at the other. "I won't be huge will I?"

"Uhh well…" Vaati gulped. "Female Minish get pretty huge… Humans don't usually get that big. But humans usually have one baby." He coughed a little. "Minish are more like mice, with birthing litters." He glanced at the other's panicked face. "But according to the princess, you're just having one baby!" He added quickly, smiling. "And she's a girl." He added, now grinning like an idiot.

"She said she just wanted one dead." Ventri muttered, not caring if he ruined the mood or not. He sniffled a little. "Wh-what if I'm having five of them and she just wants one dead and we don't know which one's which and she comes to get rid of them all and we won't have any left unless they're all boys and we won't have a girl or-" He was cut off by the sobs rising in his chest.

"Whoa whoa whoa." Vaati muttered and pulled him close. "Relax." At the shake of the head, he sighed. "You're not having five, for Din's sake. Just one."

"Then why am I this big already?!" Ventri cried.

Vaati, not having an answer, just continued. "She's not going to be coming here." He caught the other as he fell against him.

"Tired…" Ventri whispered.

"C'mon, let's go to bed." Vaati muttered back and picked him up.

_What he doesn't know won't hurt him._ Ventri thought glumly, putting his arms around the other's neck as he was carried. He was still, in truth, very indecisive about it all. It was his body, for crying out loud. But he would play along, long enough to have this all blow over. After that he would just go back to his own time.

_I can't leave him with nothing._ Ventri thought tiredly. _I can't take away something that's making him so happy to think about…_ With that, his eyes fluttered shut and he fell asleep before he reached the bed.

**AN: Ooohhh Zelda acting all godly? Hmm... Something about her seems to be a bit off, no?**

**R&R! The power of the waffles compel you!**

Vaati yawned as he walked in through the door. It had been a somewhat long day, but not as long as the usual. "It's only 11." He noted to himself, and stretched. He picked up the coffee he had set down and walked into the kitchen. The coffee pot had been broken due to a slight accident of someone's fingers becoming "slippery" -a slight revenge spell Ventri had cast on him that lasted 48 hours in return- so he had to buy coffee every morning.

He was slightly glad that he didn't run into Ventri at first, but at the lack of sound, he became worried. "Is he not up yet?" He asked himself, and made his way upstairs. He knocked on the door. "Vents? You okay?"

There was a quiet muffled response from inside. "Not really."

He gave a small pout, then silently entered the room.

The curtains were still drawn from the night before, and Ventri was in the same position from when the other had left... for the most part, anyways. He was curled up around a pillow, and he had his face pressed into it.

"What is it?" Vaati questioned him quietly, and went to stand next to the bed.

"I feel like _crap_." Ventri whined.

"Hm? This is a bit sudden. You were fine last night. Do you think maybe you're getting sick?"

"I-I dunno... Don't feel warm, do I?" He asked quietly.

"Well, sit up for me." Vaati suggested. While the other obeyed, he set the cup of coffee on the table. "I grabbed you some coffee as usual. But this time it's cheap, because this genius-" He puffed out his chest a little and pointed at himself. "-forgot his wallet so it was all I could afford." Once the other was situated, he felt his forehead then his neck. "Yeah... Maybe you're a little warm."

Ventri sniffed a little, smelling the coffee. He abruptly blanched. "O-Oh goddesses get that away from me..." He whimpered, pressing his face into the pillow again.

The other gave him an odd look and shrugged, then picked it up and sipped at it. He hid a shudder. "Yeah, it's not good." He set it back down.

The smell made its way through the fibers of the pillow.

With a small cry, Ventri pressed a hand to his mouth and ran to the bathroom across the hall.

Vaati stood there in shock, not sure what just happened. After a few seconds, he went to the window and dumped the contents of the cup out, then went into the bathroom.

The other was hunched over the toilet, breathing hard after his stomach had rejected the prior night's meal. As another wave hit him, he started to fall to his knees. Vaati warped next to him before he could fall all the way, then rubbed his back as he was sick again.

"Wow, its not like you to be this sick this suddenly..."

Ventri finally pulled back, gasping. "I-I've felt bad for the past c-couple days... I just sh-shrugged it off..." He muttered, shivering.

"Its odd because you really don't look awful at all... I mean, no bags under your eyes or anything... just... pale."

Ventri sank to the ground, pulling the other with him. He gave a shaky sigh and leaned against him. "Feel like I should look horrible if I feel this way..."

"You actually look rather nice, apart from the misery plastered all over your face, you poor thing." He picked him up and carried him to his couch in the livingroom. Out of all the furniture in the room, Ventri had claimed the couch as his own. And from that moment on, it was rare to see anyone but him on it, let alone sharing it.

And the owner of it curled up on himself. "It's probably not a good idea... Being this far away..."

"Well there's a bathroom down the hall. You're not _that_ far away." He patted the other's head, attempting to soothe him. "Can I get you anything?"

A shake of the head.

"You sure?"

"A way to make me feel better... Instead of wanting to vomit my guts up."

Vaati gave a slight grimace at that mental image. It wasn't a good one in the slightest. "If only I knew what you have... I know lots of remedies. I read a few books about them." He stopped for a moment as the other wrapped his arms around his waist and groaned. Sure he wasn't going to be sick again, he continued on. "Hmm... There's a number of possible causes. Stomach flu... I doubt it though. Everything we've had has been fresh and cooked right... That makes food poisonoing out of the question." He sat there for a moment, pondering. A small realization crept up into his mind. "I know what you might need... some ginger." He said, snapping his fingers.

Ventri shook his head. "I don't want to eat _anything_ at the moment."

"No, trust me." He went off into the kitchen and searched through the pantry. Finally finding what he was looking for, he came back with a few ginger snaps. "Eat them, you'll feel better."

The small cookies in his hand only received a glare.

"Please? Just try it."

Ventri hesitantly reached out and took one, nibbling on it. His stomach already started to rebel against him.

"Well... You'll need to eat them all if you hope to ingest enough ginger to actually make a difference." He held out the three to him.

"I-I'm scared I'll get sick again." Ventri whimpered, but took them anyways.

"I know." Vaati sighed, then bent over and looked him in the eyes. "But if you eat these, I won't bug you to try anything else, okay?" He asked gently.

With a small nod, Ventri somehow forced himself to eat the three of them.

"Better?"

"N-Not really." He whimpered again, curling up on himself.

"One more thing." Vaati said and warped to the kitchen.

_Wait.. what? Didn't he just say he wouldn't make me-_

Ventri's thoughts were interrupted as the other came back with a long stick of greenery. Celery.

"Wh-what is that?" He asked, leaning away. "Why?" Vaati sat on the couch, which irked the other a little. The green scent of the stalk made its way to Ventri, and he abruptly shot off the couch to the bathroom.

Vaati sighed and walked back to put it in the fridge. "Thought so. Morning sickness." He teleported to the bathroom, and sat next to the other.

"G-get that foul plant out of this house!" Ventri gasped, sliding to the ground.

"I got rid of it, don't worry." Vaati murmured reassuringly to him. "Just stay away from food, its best that way. You should start to feel better in an hour or two." He sighed. "Bad news, the ginger didn't help you. The good news, I know what you have. Bad news again... It's... Um, morning sickness... Which can only mean one thing."

"Yea I figured it was that." The other shifted nervously. "I know..."

"I figured you probably did... but I had to make sure." He sighed. "So... On a scale of docile to homicidal... how mad are you?"

The other ignored the question, and his hand fell to his stomach. "So there's really something living down there?" He whispered quietly.

Vaati knelt down next to him and put his hand over the other's, then felt his abdomen. "Solid..." He paused. "How long has it been this way?" He asked.

A shrug. "I... I don't know..."

Vaati looked up into the other's eyes. "You're... Oh my goddesses... You're pregnant..." He collapsed to the side, completely unconscious.

"Gah!" Ventri flailed away to avoid being landed on. He huffed, relaxing a little at seeing the sight. "Not making it any better." He growled, then sighed heavily. "It shouldn't even be possible..." He looked at Vaati again and debated pulling him off to the couch, but the way his stomach felt, he decided against it. Instead, he sunk down the wall next to him, and waited.

A while later, after he dozed off, the other started to come to. Vaati stayed on the ground, keeping his eyes shut. He could feel Ventri's presence next to him, then slowly, he realized there was another with him. His eyes flew open as he sat up. "I can sense it. It wasn't a dream." He whispered. He turned to the other. "Its alive... it really is..."

Ventri rubbed his eyes, waking up. "Eh?" He was abruptly flailing and pushing him away as the other kissed him passionately. His stomach started to wake up as his mind did, but the other didn't seem to care.

"I... I don't know what to think. I don't know whether to be happy or scared or what..." Vaati mumbled, seeming to space out a little. "A baby... A real baby... us..."

Ventri let out a groan and doubled over as his stomach started to rebel yet again. The other rubbed his back, worried. "I hate this..." he whined.

"I'm sorry Vents."

"...How much longer do I have to put up with this?" He whimpered quietly, dropping his face into his hands.

"I take it you know nothing of pregnancy..." Vaati cleared his throat. Luckily his years of research were finally starting to pay off. "Well... In _humans_ it takes about nine and a half months..." This caused a loud groan from the other. "Minish pregnancies last about three months..." He paused. "Goddesses... I have no way of telling."

_The princess might know._ Ventri thought to himself quietly. He immediately rejected the idea. _No, we'd be killed. Without a second thought. Not to mention she probably won't trust or believe either of us if we _do_ stay alive..._

"You're male... It was an accident caused by a spell... You're a minish in human form..." He paused, thinking. "Hmm... I doubt it. We need science!" He cried, pumping his fist into the air. The both sat there, Ventri staring blankly at him. "Um... maybe not." He sighed, his arm falling limply to the side. "We need a doctor to look you over; We need a modern doctor..."

"So in other words a doctor who won't believe a word you say about me being pregnant when I'm obviously a guy?" The other cringed. "I... I hate to say it but..." He had no choice but to mention it now. "Maybe... I'm guessing the princes _would_ be educated in this kind of stuff... Even if it is with a male... And she'd be more believing and possibly-" _Hopefully._ "-trust us more." He looked away.

"Well then, if that's what you think... Then we'll go to the princess. After all, it's _your_ body."

Ventri felt a pang of anxiety run through him. _Second thoughts. Probably not a good idea now._ His mind started to run rampant, then it was interrupted.

"Are you feeling any better now?"

"A-a little bit." He answered sheepishly. "Still don't feel like eating anything."

"I don't blame you." He reached down and pulled him up, supporting him. "I don't feel like walking there, and besides, the guards probably won't willingly let us talk to the princess. So.. I'm going to do something I shouldn't. You tell no one." He muttered, poking the other's chest.

Ventri gave a small nod, not seeing the point of telling his own secrets.

With a snap and a gesture at the wall, Vaati created a dark purple portal. He stepped over to it. "C'mon." He walked through it.

Ventri starred in apprehension at it. Something, he felt, was going to go wrong. He followed as the other went through, and stopped again in front of it.

"Coming?" Vaati muttered, peeking back in to look at him.

Swallowing hard, Ventri nodded and followed through the portal.


End file.
